I wrote this post over a year ago and thought about it again yesterday.

When we first moved to Charlotte we were full of the uncertainty that can sometimes come with settling down for the first time. "Is this it? What's next?" Like I've mentioned before, I had gotten so used to planning for the next thing that I found just sitting in the present moment to be a bit of a challenge.

And yet, through my parents splitting up and moving, my mom's second cancer diagnosis and subsequent surgeries, and my own health issues, somehow I managed to find a way to put roots down. To get up in the morning and brew coffee and start my day and make lunch for my husband and find friends and schedule regular dentist appointments. I sit at my desk and write, and twice a day I walk down the hall and let our neighbor's dog out. On Fridays Rob and I take Ender to Atherton Market for coffee at our favorite place, and on Sundays we sleep in and then watch a documentary while we eat breakfast.

It's been almost two years and we have managed to create a life here.

The other day I felt a random compulsion to check Craigslist for rental houses. Rob and I talk a lot about moving into a house when our lease is up, but that's not until August so every time we look we always remind ourselves that it's too early. And I fall in love with every property that has more light and a bigger kitchen than our current apartment, so I push the laptop away and say "let's just wait." 

But sure enough there we were the next day, walking through a house and picturing ourselves living in it. The kitchen with a window over the sink and the third bedroom where you could put a desk or maybe a baby; and the fenced-in backyard where Ender could run. 

We magically managed to wrangle up a summer sublease for our apartment and I was practically starting to pack when the landlord texted me the next morning to say that he had already rented the house to whoever saw it earlier that day before. And I cried in my car, over this house that I visited once and fell in love with the idea of even though it's in a neighborhood I don't really like that much. 

We've spent two years focusing on the present, but I can feel the tide coming in and pulling me back out to what's next, and next, and next after that.

“I’m coming home to the lights and buzz
Streets look the same, still nothing’s as it was
This place is paradise I’m sure, here’s my reservation
I’ve gotten lost here once before
Inside a good vibration ”

— The Lights and Buzz, Jack's Mannequin

Months have passed since the last time I picked up my camera and walked around with it all weekend, snapping photos of my coffee and the street and all the things we eat and drink and do from Friday night to Sunday afternoon, so this weekend I announced that I was going to take pictures of everything, because it had been too long.

It was one of those weekends that just slowly unfolds--we had tickets to an oyster roast at one of our favorite breweries in the neighborhood, so our plan was to walk to the grocery store for a crab cracker and/or an oyster knife first. On our way to Publix we passed the new Anthropologie location which always lures me in "just to smell the candles;" so we made our rounds and checked on all the dresses that were 25% off even though the clothes there are very rarely my thing. Christmas decorations were out in full force and it made me forget that I'm generally anti-Christmas-before-Thanksgiving (although we will most likely be decorating our apartment sometime in the next 48 hours because hey, it's the most wonderful time of the year).

We walked out of Anthro and Rob said, "Do you want a coffee?" which is cute because I always want a coffee. We stopped by the Not Just Coffee at Atherton Mill and ordered one iced latte and one cold brew because it's almost Thanksgiving but down here it can feel like spring in the sunshine.

On Sunday I woke up early with Ender, walked around outside with him, drank a cup of coffee, and went to barre at 9:00. I came home and Rob was still in bed, so I ate leftover frittata from the day before and cleaned my desk. We walked the dog and came home to lounge and got in one of those arguments that come out of nowhere and I watched Grey's Anatomy and cried even though I'd seen it before.

The sun began to set and I made a quick dinner of steaks and broccoli and we ate at the coffee table like we always do, and after we ate, we cleaned the kitchen and returned to the couch where I sat with my head on Rob's shoulder and felt that deep, profound happiness that I think we all must dream about at some point or another. I keep saying that we aren't going home for Thanksgiving this year, which is a first; but what I really should be saying is that we are staying home for Thanksgiving this year, because that's finally what this feels like.

As I got in bed, I realized I still didn't pick up my camera even once.

Photos or not, these are the days I'll always remember.

Photo by Joshua Vasko for Freckled Italian.

My mom came to stay with us the day after our accident, which was so helpful because I was still a little sore and had a lot to do--we're going to California for a week on Saturday!

Once she cleaned my whole kitchen, made our bed, and got the embarrassingly large amount of laundry I hadn't folded all put away (which would have taken me days and only took her an hour), we spent a few days just hanging out, which was so nice. We grilled out every day and drank wine and even went to the pool for a bit. I made a big brunch at home--which included my Paleo sweet potato hash browns recipe, and we drank a ton of coffee on our patio.

On Saturday, Rob and I met up with our friends Paige and Justin to try out a new cidery in our neighborhood, which was really fun. Ender had two playdates with pups that totally wiped him out, and we ended the weekend with a trip to the mall and a whole lot of 30 Rock episodes.

When we stay put but also manage to have busy weekends, I feel so incredibly at home here. It took a while (we've been here almost a year), but Charlotte really feels a lot like our place these days. Not too bad at all.