I recently listened to a great podcast about battling overwhelm and stopping the glorification of "busy" that really spoke to me. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately, and while I've tried my best to overcome it, I still feel panicky more often than not.

If you listen to that episode, you'll hear a great conversation about taking a step back and being really intentional about how you want your day and your life in general to look. Your values have to align with what you actually do, and I think that's where a lot of my struggle is right now--there's a disconnect between what I want and what I actually do with my day, my life, and my work.

I like to share my struggles here, because while anxiety can often make us feel like we're alone, I really believe that we all go through so many similar experiences and it's always pretty wonderful to find connections out there. I also thought it might be a good practice to list what my top priorities are right now so I can evaluate if the ranking is right.

These are currently my top priorities:

1. My marriage. Life with Rob doesn't ever feel like work, but I still think it's really important to put this one at the top of the list. We communicate well, laugh a lot, and have a nice balance of routine and spontaneity in our daily lives.
2. Ender. This little guy is so great, but he's a lot of work. He and I are on a great schedule and we walk or go to the park every day, and Rob and I just started taking him to puppy training classes. His health and happiness truly matter to me.
3. Exercise. This one used to be a struggle, but since I started paying an arm and a leg for an unlimited barre membership, I'm in the studio working out at least five times a week. It's a great workout and I love that they charge you extra if you don't show up--I've rescheduled a couple classes, but other than that I pretty much schedule myself five or six times a week and do every single one of them.
4. Work. This one used to be #2, but it's dropped a little--maybe because I work for myself and there aren't any immediate repercussions if I don't "show up" one day (or two...woops), but I also think a lot of it is because I'm still learning to balance working from home with having a dog. My blog is incredibly important to me, so I feel uneasy when I let it fall by the wayside. I'm hoping this gets better with time, but I know I'm going to have to be better about scheduling my day if I want to see some changes.

These are things I wish were priorities but can't seem to make time for lately:

1. Our home. Laundry is a never-ending pain in my ass, and one that causes me a ton of anxiety. I hate having a disorganized mess in the apartment but I can't seem to get my act together enough to keep it clean. I also leave dishes in the sink at night, even though it drives me absolutely nuts in the morning. Rob and I just recently hired a cleaning service to come in once a month and clean our entire apartment, which was a struggle for me at first--letting go of that responsibility (even though I hardly ever actually owned it myself) made me feel a little guilty, but now it's a luxury that I enjoy.
2. Eating 100% Paleo. I used to be about 98% Paleo and I felt great. Lately I've been closer to 80%, which for the majority of people is probably a fine place to be, but I'm super sensitive to food and it's making my life a little harder right now. I'm all about tacos and dairy these days, and as a result my skin is breaking out and I can't seem to get out of bed in the morning.
3. Going to bed at a reasonable time. I am a big baby and really need 8 hours of good sleep every night. I would love to be in bed at 9:30, reading until I go to sleep at 10, but instead I usually make a goal of being in bed by 11. And yet here I am at midnight, writing this blog post...Maybe tomorrow.

And, finally, one thing that isn't a priority at all anymore: Cave Girl Consulting. This little side business had a good run, but it's been slow for a while and frankly I don't have the time or energy to dedicate to working on growing a client list and maintaining its social media profiles. I struggled a lot with this for a while, but I think it's time to just let it go.

For me, my priorities feel in line with my values, it's just a matter of making the effort to really do my best in all these areas of my life (and obviously doing better in the cleaning/eating/sleeping categories).

Our culture really does glorify being busy, and I know I do, too--if I see someone on Instagram who always seems to be working on something new and exciting, it can make me feel like I'm not doing enough, which overwhelms me to the point where I sometimes don't even know where to begin. Lately, though, I've tried to take a step back, worry less about what other people are doing, and enjoy living in the moment. I think it's been good for me, but I'm looking forward to getting back to work and creating a life that really feels good on me.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? What are your top four priorities right now? And if you have any recommendations for other podcasts that talk about productivity or living with intention, I'd love to hear them!

If you could pick one city in the world to live in for a year, where would that be and why?

I'm torn on this one--a big part of me feels like I'd do well somewhere in Scandinavia, like Norway. Another part of me really wants to see Ireland. But I think if I had to pick a specific city and live there, I'd head to Argentina and call Buenos Aires home. My mom was born there, I've never been, and it would be the perfect way to regain my Spanish fluency. I'd actually really love Argentina to be the destination of our next big trip sometime in the next two years.

Do you ever struggle with time management? What do you do when you're short of time for something important?

The sweet person who asked this questions said that if I do struggle with time management, they couldn't tell, and that was just so nice of them. But yes, I am the worst with time management. I'm a big proponent of to-do lists (I use Trello and absolutely love it), but I'm not always great at completing them. Working from home can be wonderful, but sometimes I really have to motivate myself to get things done.

In my dreams, I would have a schedule that is specific to the hour. Wake up, go running, make breakfast, eat breakfast, write this post, cook this recipe, take these photos, answer emails, stop for lunch, take a walk, make dinner ahead of time, etc. In reality, I am nowhere near that. 

I definitely think prioritizing things is important--what's due first is obviously significant, but sometimes I'll do the quickest thing first so that I can check something off my list immediately. That often propels me toward a more productive day. One thing I've found to improve my time management skills is visiting a coffee shop a couple times a week, because when I'm working in a public space, I'm less inclined to spend an hour on Pinterest. It's a work in progress.

What is your favorite home-cooked meal, Paleo or non-Paleo?

My absolute favorite meal growing up (and before going Paleo) was pasta with pesto. My mom makes the best pesto and my entire family loved it. Sometimes I'll make pesto and put it on chicken or veggies but let's be real, it's not the same. Now I think my favorite home-cooked meal is a really good flank steak or a beef tenderloin, sliced up really thinly, with roasted Brussels sprouts and a big salad on the side.

Do you come from a big or a small family? Tell me more about your childhood.

I come from an immediate family of just four (my mom, dad, brother and I), but both sides of my family are really huge. My dad is one of five and my mom has only one sister, but their extended family is really large. I visited Italy as a kid and could barely keep all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins straight (the language barrier didn't help)!

Rob comes from a big family as well. He has three brothers and both of his parents come from large families. I think we want to have three kids, maybe. I love the relationship I have with my brother so much, but I think having two siblings could be really fun.

I grew up in Roanoke and loved it--still do. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten through high school and I loved that, too; but I don't think Rob and I will send our future kids to a religious school. I was super active in student government, my church, swimming, cross country and track, and even a little cheerleading here and there.

I had a cat in California named JoJo (we gave him to one of my cousins when we moved) and also a pet rat named Zippity after the hamster in Barney. In Virginia I used to collect pet mice two at a time--it was sort of bizarre. They were the little white ones that you feed to snakes. They actually made really good pets, even if it means you're kind of a weirdo. And then of course there was Rocky, who we got when I was in seventh grade. He was seriously the best dog in the world.

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Now it's your turn--leave me a comment with your answers! I love hearing from you guys.

When I was younger, I wrote about everything. Every ex-boyfriend had an essay with some ambiguous title that didn't need to be ambiguous because there, in the second or third paragraph was his full name, copied and stapled and stacked before being handed around to each person in my Creative Writing workshop at Longwood, where they would circle and slash and write character notes in the margins.

What our relationship had meant to me was the only thing I could ever wrap my head around and I never even thought to wonder how these people in my stories might feel about the fact that I was sharing our story with a group of people they didn't know.

Over time, I learned to stop over-sharing so much in my writing, which I'm sure sounds ridiculous because I write a blog about my life for a living. The other day I put together a reader survey because sometimes I worry that I sit around all day boring or irritating you. One person mentioned that I seemed very distant lately; that I am starting to come off as impersonal and artificial. And I think that person was right.

Because the story of the death of someone else's loved one or that time your friend came out of the closet or someone else's divorce isn't usually just hanging there for us, ripe for the picking. I have told some of these stories before and I look back on them with a bit of regret.

But when you write everything, how do you process life without sharing it? I'm still trying to figure it out.

I apologize for the vagueness and the impersonality that has lingered around here lately. I want you to know that I'm here, that I have been going through something, and that I feel it, but most of it isn't my story to tell. Maybe one day I'll find a way to tell you about it, but until then--whether you know it or not--I take a lot of comfort in the belief that we're all in this life thing together.