There's a place that exists between fear and assurance, and I tend to dwell there. I want to be confident and enthusiastic about life and all of its possibilities, and most of the time I am. But sometimes I feel overwhelmed.
I panic about being far from my family and our friends. I miss my mom and my dad and my brother; and I am starting to yearn for warmer weather and a neighborhood full of friends. I want to be adventurous and free-spirited and easygoing, but often I am cautious and moody. We're nearing the time in Rob's career where talks about a new project are taking place. We might stay in Minneapolis, we might not. We might go back to Virginia, but we might not do that either. I would rather be the version of myself that asks, What's next? Let's do it! instead of the one who demands, What's next? I need to know now.
The more controlling side of myself has given way to the braver me plenty of times these past seven months. There have been countless opportunities for growth, and I am so grateful for them. But there's still a side of me that can make herself sick with worry. There's always a chance to let go a little more, and I try to do it every day.
This post is in response to the following prompt: "Often we are pulled between two places...Tell us about them. Give us the pull, the conflict, the desire." (From Old Friend from Far Away, page 204.) You can visit this post for next week's prompt.
Image credit: V.A. Photography