Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I often daydream about seasons long before they ever show up.

I wish the last few weeks of summer away with dreams of crunchy leaves and woolen socks. The day after Thanksgiving, I'm consumed with thoughts of twinkly lights and a cozy white Christmas spent by the fireplace.

And now we're in February, where I've already ordered several iced coffees; finding myself so incredibly ready for spring. I could try to blame this on the extra long and extra cold winters here in Minneapolis, but I've done this my whole life.

I love looking forward to things. My brother arrived late last night and I've been looking forward to his trip for months. I have a lot to look forward to, but even the most routine of things--autumn, winter, spring, summer--cause me to create countdowns and celebrate every little day we get closer to the goal. Maybe it's good, to be so enthusiastic about the future, but a lot of the time, I feel like I'm missing out on what's directly surrounding me.

So this season, I will try to sit in the present without wishing it away. I want to do more than accept what is in front of me--I want to be thankful for it. For extra snow and a new experience. For this long winter before Rob and I begin our marriage and start figuring out what's next for us. This most likely could be my last Minnesota winter, so I want to hold on to it. My brother is here for five days and there are hot beverages to drink and frozen waterfalls to see.

These winters are long, but they're good. My sundresses can wait.

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. 

--Albert Camus