TWO | I am an alien without eyeliner. Again, I'm sure it's not really that bad. But I just really like eyeliner.
THREE | I've been referring to milk as "cow pus" in my head for almost a year now, because milk makes me so sick but I love it so much. It mostly works, unless I have a tablet for lactose-intolerance in my bag and I'm at a coffee shop with whole milk and then I'm all,"Give me a latte with some of that cow pus."
FOUR | I've been really bad about working out lately, so I try to sneak exercise in to daily activities, which means that on any given morning, you can find me doing lunges in my shower and while I brush my teeth, and on a normal evening I am on the floor doing push ups after sending an email, and pumping out a few jump squats while bacon fries up on the stove.
FIVE | I am some kind of Virginia Mosquito delicacy. I spend the summer covered in the itchiest bites and I can't help but scratch the shit out of them and talk about how much I hate the summer while I bleed.
SIX | I put a scarf or a newspaper or a paper towel (anything, really) on my dog's head and sing "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Mis to him almost every night after dinner. My family also randomly surrounds him and sings "I Love You Like a Love Song, Rocky" and "Hey Rocky, You're So Fine" (renditions of Selena Gomez's and Toni Basil's songs, respectively).
SEVEN | I regularly spank my mom while walking past her like we're on the same football team or something.
So that's me. What's weird about you?