Finding the Perfect Paleo Cookie, Take One

This past Monday, there was nothing in the world that I needed more than a chocolate chip cookie. You know what I mean? So, after daydreaming about cookies all afternoon, I did a search for "Paleo chocolate chip cookies" in the old Google machine and found a recipe, which looked awesome.

They really looked amazing, and I couldn't wait to make them. I followed the recipe and was rewarded with what looked and felt like chocolate chip sand. Is there really no liquid in this recipe? I wondered as a cloud of coconut flour dust floated through the air. The "batter" wouldn't stick together when I rolled it, but I was fully committed, so I finally just threw some almond milk in the bowl, gave it a stir, and hoped for the best. That helped.

In the oven, they smelled like cookies. That was a good sign. I have to say that in the kitchen, I'm pretty damn good. So by this time I was frustrated. It's not hard to follow a recipe, and it's annoying when you do and it doesn't work. I started to wonder if the blogger behind the recipe I had found just made a batch of cookies from one of those sausage-looking rolls of pre-made batter and then told us all that they were Paleo. Probably.

They finished baking and I tasted one to decide that I think they're pretty good. My mom, however, hates them. I proclaimed excitedly (because I'm always excited when I discover something new that's Paleo--you should have seen me when I realized what the hell a Larabar was), "I'm going to call them shortbread!" (because they're not cookies),  to which she very quickly responded, "Ew--no--I wish they were shortbread. They're more like crab cakes."

I don't know what she's talking about, because at least a crab cake is moist. I guess they kind of look like crab cakes. They are a little on the thick side, if that's what it really takes to be a crab cake. They're pretty decent dipped in coffee, though.

I understand that there are some things that coconut flour and honey just can't do. I get it. Paleo people don't get to eat cookies anytime like normal people. I'm okay with it, but some days I'm going to need a cookie.

So yeah, they look a little like crab cakes. But they taste a little like chocolate chip cookies.

And the search continues.