Dear Baby,

I have never been heavier or more swollen or generally larger than I am right now, and most of the time I don't even care. Last weekend your dad and I went to the mall because I needed new tennis shoes, and the pair I bought were two sizes bigger than my other shoes. (We went to Pressed Juicery afterwards for a non-dairy, Paleo frozen yogurt made out of vegetables, but I don't think it made much of a difference.)

We're about eight weeks away from meeting you and things are getting real. We moved into a bigger house across the bay from our old place so we could have a yard for Ender, who is a little crazy but sweet and silly and I think you guys are going to be great friends. You also get your own room, which is bright yellow and full of books. We finished putting your crib together two nights ago and every time I walk by it reminds me a little more that you'll actually be here with us soon, no longer surprising us with your big kicks and rolling movements from within.

We still call you "Baby" and I think I might know what your name is, but we're still waiting to see you. I'm so curious to learn if you have hair already, and if it's going to be black like mine was or bright blonde like your dad's. What color will your eyes be? None of it matters, of course, we're just excited to know you and hold you and do our best to raise you.

With just two months to go I feel simultaneously rushed and impatient--like it's not enough time to do all the things we need to do before you get here, but it's too long to start panicking about installing the car seat correctly. I have a few work things to get done before I can start thinking about packing a hospital bag or preparing meals for us to have in the freezer when we come home with you.

The world lately has seemed like a strange, dark place at times; but then I feel your little feet in my ribcage and think about your strength already and I can't help but feel hopeful of the future.

“If we lay a strong enough foundation
We’ll pass it on to you, we’ll give the world to you
And you’ll blow us all away”

— Dear Theodosia, Hamilton: An American Musical

I know I said I'd keep the hash browns coming, but thankfully I'm not nauseated anymore. Now I just have crazy heartburn, so I hope you're enjoying all the Tums (and the hot fudge sundaes...which are probably giving me heartburn).

Love you so much already,

Megan

Photo by Virginia Ashley Photography.

A year ago we were driving through Kansas on our way to Denver.

I remember standing in front of a lake on the side of the highway in Colorado on the first day of fall, swallowed by mountains and feeling the first chills of autumn in a way that felt like we were somehow escaping the still-hot summer haze of North Carolina that we had left several days before. We walked Ender down a trail along the water, away from the interstate as cars zoomed by behind us, and as we stood at the edge of the lake I felt for the first time that we were really far away from home--wherever that is. But the air was cool and refreshing and I had my dog and my husband by my side and our life really was starting to feel like an adventure.

I'm so thankful for that road trip across the country, from Charlotte to Nashville to New Orleans and back up through Texas, then to Colorado and Salt Lake City and Lake Tahoe before we finally made it to the Bay Area a week later, tired but ready to start a life on the west coast.

And now here we are, having just moved all of our stuff from the South Bay to the East Bay and trying to figure out where our new Chinese takeout place will be, where I'll grocery shop; color-coding my bookshelf for the third time but now in the bright yellow bedroom that will be our daughter's nursery.

We packed the last of our stuff into the car on Saturday afternoon and drove away from the townhouse we called home for the past twelve months, marveling that we've been in California long enough to have a place we can now refer to as "our first place in California." We stopped by our favorite Chinese place in our old neighborhood for dinner on Thursday and we ate there instead of getting takeout, and the guy behind the counter was surprised by it. We do have rituals here, even if they're fewer and further between. I still think I'd rather be back on the East Coast, in Charlotte or maybe Richmond--regulars at our favorite coffee shops and just minutes away from old friends, but over the past few months I've found myself living in a place of contentment--happy to be where I am, open to the things that make California different from Virginia or North Carolina, and excited to start our family right here in just a couple months.

Sometimes I'll be on Facebook and come across an old classmate or friend who stayed in one city--they've worked for the same company since college and married someone who had already planted roots or maybe they bought a house and live close to their parents and they never had to make new friends or pack everything they own into a U-Haul. I have to admit that I'm often jealous of those people, but then I wake up in my house full of boxes and open the window over the sink as I boil water for coffee, and Rob and Ender are snuggled up in our bed and this baby is rolling around in my belly and even if I could imagine my life another way, I wouldn't.

(From Sea to Shining Sea, Part One)

It seems a little unreal to me that I'm well into my third trimester of this pregnancy! I wanted to write up a short post about my food and exercise routine these past few months, because I like to think I'm a pretty health and fitness-oriented person but I've definitely had days (or weeks) where diet and exercise (especially diet) just weren't a priority, and I think that's okay. I'm happy to report that my mostly good habits have really carried me through and when I look back on this pregnancy as a whole so far, I think I've done a relatively good job taking care of myself (even if I've eaten more ice cream since about April than anyone reasonably ought to).

Diet: 

I've really relied on my prenatal vitamins the past few months. I had really high hopes for eating super healthy and staying gluten-free and even low-carb throughout this pregnancy, but after about week 8 it just wasn't an option. I wanted to thrive and eat tons of veggies but a lot of the time I was just trying to make it through. I was really nauseated for weeks and the only thing that kept it under control were carbs--rice crackers and toast especially.

Then in my second and third trimester I started craving sugar so much--I've tried really hard to eat fruit instead of ice cream but I'm indulging in my fair share of milkshakes (and Oreos...and s'mores). I think it's a little weird when women obsess too much about pregnancy weight gain but just for reference, I've gained about 30 pounds so far...and I still have 9-10 weeks to go. It's recommended that women of average weight gain about 25-35 pounds, so I'm kind of on track but I think I'm probably going to clock in closer to 40 by the time November 21 comes around.

So my diet has looked a lot like this:

• I eat eggs for breakfast as much as I can, even if it means putting them in a wrap or on toast (usually gluten-free).
• Have a salad a few times a week (this is usually a generous handful of spinach in a smoothie or on the side of my plate for lunch and dinner).
• Drink tons of water and La Croix all day and try to limit my Coke Zero intake to once or twice a week, which I used to hate but now literally daydream about on hot afternoons.
• Incorporating veggies as snacks as much as possible.

I passed my gestational diabetes test with good numbers but apparently I've developed anemia, so in addition to my prenatal vitamin every day I'm also taking an iron supplement. I didn't feel like I was overly tired or anything but I do think extra iron has helped boost my energy a bit. I'm also adding spinach to everything and trying to eat more beef, which oddly enough is really one of the only meats I've been into this pregnancy so far, so I'm not sure why my iron levels are so low. Either way, we're getting them back up so it's all good.

Exercise:

I feel really lucky to have been well enough to exercise consistently throughout this entire pregnancy. In March my Pure Barre studio did a 20 in 31 challenge and I felt like it was the perfect way to start out, so I worked out 5 days a week the whole first month I was pregnant! Once I started teaching I was going a bit less, since I was figuring out my schedule, but I quickly got back to it. I know every labor and delivery is different, but I really am hoping that staying in shape is somehow preparing me to actually get this baby out of my body in a way that is effective and a mostly positive experience to look back on.

• Walks: 20-60 minutes a day, 4-5 days a week
• Barre:
  • Pure Barre 2-3 times a week (although I teach 6 classes a week which sometimes feels the same as taking about 1/4 of a class)
  • Pure Empower 2-3 times a week--if you haven't tried this class out yet you really should! It's a lot more intense than classic Pure Barre classes, but it's only 45 minutes. I've found it surprisingly pregnancy-friendly because there's less abs, which means I have to modify less of the class (in regular class I do a lot of sitting around/stretching the last 20 minutes and sometimes it feels like a waste of time).

I'm starting to stretch a bit more than usual, especially at night when my back, hips, and now ribs hurt a lot. I'm definitely slowing down physically and trying to be patient with myself but also reasonably challenge myself to stay as active as possible for as long as I can. I feel so much better when I've worked out, gone on a walk, or even just taught a Pure Barre class than I do if I just lie around all day, so I try to remind myself of that on days when I'm extra tired--and I still make time to nap when I need it, which is usually at least once or twice a week. 

What were your food and exercise habits like if/when you are/were pregnant? Did you succumb to cravings like I have? As always, let me know if you have any questions! I've had so much fun documenting some of these things on the blog and I hope you've enjoyed reading them!