[Willow Tree Chrysalis figurine, taken January 2011.] 

This weekend, I had to work. I didn't take pictures. I didn't go running. I was tired, and I started having weird pain in my left shin in the exact place where I once had a stress fracture and once broke it for real, so I spent some time being worried about that. I got mad at Rob for stupid things. Friday was the birthday of a friend who died last summer, and I cried. It was just one of those days where you say "It's been one of those days," but it wasn't one day, it was three.

I was reminded of this quote that I read and wrote down on a piece of paper and have held on to for almost four years:
"So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn't funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it."
--Chuck Palahniuk, Almost California 

Sometimes, things are hard. And yet, I can always feel that there's hope just around the corner. I am reassured in the fact that I can sit here at my computer and tell you the truth. Because sometimes, people feel a little bit beat up by life, and it's not pretty, but it's okay. Because it's life and even when it's hard, it's good, and we're all in it together. Keep going.

Let's all have a good Monday and a week full of happiness. We deserve it.

[Flowers at The Whiskey Jar, taken February 2012]

The beginning of March always makes me feel hopeful.

And it's even better when you already have a list of things to be thankful for.

--It's warm and sunny outside.

--Rob and I are going on a little vacation starting Saturday.

--My wonderful new sponsors. (I hope you'll visit and say hi to them today.)

--Opportunities seem abundant recently, and I'm just optimistic in general.

What are you grateful for on this beautiful afternoon?

A few days ago, I found myself spending the afternoon in bed with one of my favorite Norton Anthologies. I wasn't feeling that great, and I had even gotten a lot done earlier that day, but I still managed find a way to start feeling guilty about it. 

As I flipped through the pages and soaked in the afternoon sunlight, streaming in from the window across that recently laundered white bed spread that I love so much, a question came to the surface of my mind and made me feel badly. 

Is this really my life?

The truth is that sometimes I feel like I should be doing more.

I work six days a week, for only four or five and a half hours at a time. This means that sometimes, I think I'm working a lot more than I really am. When I finish up my day and come home at noon, it often seems like I deserve a break. Even if I don't.

But sometimes, I'll go running. Sometimes I clean the apartment. Sometimes I spend hours in front of the computer, getting important work done. And yet, sometimes you can find me sitting comfortably in bed in the middle of an afternoon with a book in my lap and my worn old teddy bear in the crook of my arm. And guilt sometimes seems like a waste of energy.

Because, those moments spent alone with good reading? William Carlos Williams may have been talking about plums, but he was right when he wrote, "Forgive me, they were delicious." And I don't think he was really that sorry. Neither am I.

Yes, this is really my life.