I have tried again with so many things in my life--wakeboarding, meal prep on Sundays, certain books I started but never picked up again, not killing another succulent, kombucha--but the most important one has been my consistent attempt at a life with less anxiety.

I am afraid of so many things. Swimming in open water, the possibility that my jaw is moving out of place and a surgeon is going to have to break and reset it. But I used to be afraid of so many more. The apartment I lived in right after college. Flying. Darkness. That my high school boyfriend would cheat on me again. That my second college boyfriend would cheat on me for the first time. The basement of my parents' old office. Living alone.

Over the summer, I lived in Minnesota by myself while Rob worked in Charlotte all week. It was the first time in several years that I had slept anywhere without him or a roommate or even a parent in a room down the hall, and it was not nearly as easy as I hoped it would be. But, even halfway across the country from my friends and family, I found a way to make it work.

There was a time, two or three years ago, when I would call my parents from my apartment in the middle of the night and proceed to completely freak them out--sobbing and unable to move from my bed, unable to put into words what was wrong with me. One of them would offer to come pick me up, and I would only get more upset, embarrassed about being a woman in her 20s who couldn't seem to get her shit together enough to go to bed.

Sometimes I still get overwhelmed at a random moment one afternoon. Sometimes I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, struggling to catch my breath and calm down enough to fall back asleep. Now I know to pop a Valium and give myself fifteen minutes. And when I wake up the next day after a panic attack or having given in to the urge to bolt in some crowded bar or concert venue, I know to be kind to myself--to not beat myself up over the way I felt when I was being irrational.

Every day that I decide to treat my anxiety with patience, love, and understanding is a day where it leaves me alone a bit more. We all struggle with something, don't we? But we're all in this together, and we're going to be okay.

This post is in response to the following prompt: "What did you start over again?" (From Old Friend from Far Away, page 246.) If you write a response of your own, please share a link below in the comments! For a list of some previous prompts, you can check out this post (or just search the Old Friend from Far Away category below).

Sometimes, I think the most interesting question is "how did we get here?"

I like it a lot more than "where are we going?", which, while important, often stresses me out because the future is really big and it's easier to stay in bed and watch old episodes of How I Met Your Mother, once again thinking about that first apartment we shared in Roanoke and the big old television we first watched it on.

I think about, with a bit of a laugh, how I had initially been a Psychology major, mostly because I took Intro to Psych in high school and got an A and I loved talking about people and what they thought and why. In college, it was fine for one and a half semesters, before I realized that Psychology was a science and I would most likely have to do some math.

As an eighteen year-old, I never knew what I wanted to do--I always assumed that I'd just work for my parents. I felt lucky that I didn't really have to be in school to get a job, even though I wanted to go to school and of course, my parents encouraged me to do so. And, even though I don't work for my parents today, I'm thankful for that slightly false security it gave me--encouraging me to study something I really loved, even if it didn't seem super practical.

I changed my course of study for the first time, from Psychology to Spanish. Another year passed before I made the switch to English, finally feeling that feeling you feel when you do something right, and your heart and your head kind of line up and uncertainty flees for a while.

The guy I was dating at the time said "You're not going to write," for whatever reason--maybe because I had broken up with him recently or maybe because he had already watched me jump from one major to the other.

But still, sometimes I feel as though I don't really write. Blogging is odd. But in undergrad and while getting my masters, I learned the value of reading and writing, and also of making connections with people on all kinds of different levels. You can do that through your words or a hug or the food you make. And all of it led me from Virginia to the frozen landscape of Minnesota to this never-ending summer in North Carolina, so thankful for Rob and this wonderful life we are somehow constructing for ourselves.

I will always remember visiting my alma mater in Farmville, sitting in one of my favorite professors' office with a cup of coffee in my hand, stressing out about the value of my M.A. as he told me not to worry so much about what exactly to do with a specific degree. "Are you reading?" he asked. "Are you writing? Are you happy?"

I'm still waiting for the moment where I let go of worry altogether, but every year I understand a bit more what it means to trust the journey.

How did you get here?

What does an average day in your life look like?

I get up around 7:15 and try to drink a glass of water (I'm not always successful). I sit down at the computer for twenty minutes or so and go through any emails I got while I was asleep. I scroll through Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and then I head to the kitchen to get breakfast and lunch together for Rob. Sometimes that's scrambled eggs and a packed salad with turkey, ham, and salami, but lately it's been a smoothie and a container of leftovers from dinner.

At 8:00 I usually go for a run, and when I come home I have coffee and sit down in front of the computer again. I catch up with my friend Jenna on Gchat, check in with Rob because we usually chat all day, and promote whatever blog post I have that day over Twitter and Facebook.

From there, it's pretty unorganized--I'm trying really hard to come up with an hourly schedule now that we're mostly settled here. I work on blog posts, take photos of a recipe or two, go to the grocery store, and sometimes work on freelance projects. I still want to make time to write pieces that won't become Freckled Italian posts, and I want to carve out some time to read, every day.

Rob gets home around 5:30, so I try to have all my work done by then. I walk to the train station to meet him and then we walk home together. We eat dinner, go to the gym, and usually just hang out on the couch watching one of our favorite shows. I'm usually asleep by 11:00, but if I can manage it, I love being in bed much sooner than that!

What are some of your favorite clothing stores?

I'm a huge fan of J.Crew, ModCloth, and Everlane. My favorite jeans are a pair of high-waisted Levis, but other than that, the majority of my closet has come from one of those first three stores. I also became a huge fan of BCBGeneration when I lived in Minneapolis and came across it at Mall of America. I know J.Crew can be really expensive, which is why I never buy anything full-price! The sale racks in-store are usually pretty good, but I go to warehouse sales or a factory store.

When are you and Rob going to get a dog? (Edited to include everyone): Do you have a pet? What is it, what's his/her name, and how long have you had him/her? 

We both really love dogs and would love to have one of our own. Rocky passed away in December of last year, so there's a part of me that wants to let at least a year go by before we start thinking about it. We do talk about it a little bit, but I don't think we'll even start looking until this winter. The main thing that's important to us is that we adopt a dog from a shelter. There's still a lot of planning to be done!

What meals or foods do you fall back on when you're tired or feeling lazy?

As much as the Paleo enthusiast in me hates to admit it, I have a huge weakness for takeout Pad Thai in front of the TV. But, some healthier, Paleo options include hot dogs, tuna salad, chicken broth with some zucchini noodles, or half an avocado with salt and cayenne pepper. I also love almond butter mixed with some coconut oil, topped with a few blueberries and a splash of almond milk.

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What about you? I want to know. Tell me your answers in the comments! (Thanks to everyone who submitted a question!)

Photo credit: V.A. Photography