It's been a while since I picked up my copy of

Old Friend from Far Away

, but I've been thinking about it a lot since I moved. I guess it just took an uninspired afternoon for me to reach for it, hoping for some kind of serendipitous writing prompt to be waiting for me on whichever page I happened to open. Of course, I never like the first one, so I tried again until I came across a passage that spoke to me.

"In order to write we must have an awareness of who we are--and who we aren't. If you don't know either, writing can help teach it.

Know that writing is born from the ache of contraries, polarities in search of peace, of unity.

But not the unity of making mush. You want to live in the country. Your husband is an urban boy. You compromise and both live in the suburbs. What a squash of desire and energy.

Can you instead hold the tension until something fresh and howling results? You must find your way to this when you write.

What bold restless extremes do you carry inside?

"

Here are some of mine:

Coffee. Every day.

The best meals start with garlic and butter or olive oil.

I feel that there is no room in life for guilt or regret. Where do you go with either? I try to live each day well and if I make a mistake, I can say I'm sorry--fix it in some way--but then be done with it.

People deserve to be happy. Surprisingly, happiness doesn't always have room in it for everything you thought it might.

There was a time when I was insecure and unsure of myself in too many ways. It wasn't fun, and it wasn't good for me, and I'm glad that time has passed.

I want a big life full of good food and some kids and a dog and all the people I love near me more often than they're not.

When I read, write, run, pray--do whatever it is that makes me feel connected to myself and the Universe that surrounds me--I feel better. Because I am better.

I am often hard on myself and it's usually unfair.

I'm supposed to write. I just don't always know where to begin.

So, what bold restless extremes do you carry inside?

Photo credit: 

Winona Grey Photography

I share my life online, oftentimes without much thought, but I have to say that this post makes me nervous.

Every month, I post a link to my Sponsorship page and say, "I have some ad spots available for next month!" And I was going to do that again today, but we're just seven days away from the road to Minnesota; and I haven't told you the plan yet.

So, the plan.

The plan is for me to finish that recipe book I may have told some of you about over the winter, the one that I was so excited about and then ran out of time and energy to work on it. I need to find something that makes it feel more like an e-book and less like a Word document. It's going to have some recipes from here, but the majority of recipes will be new ones that you've never seen, and I can't wait to share it with you.

The plan is to continue on with Cave Girl Consulting--to use my passion for Paleo and help people tackle that lifestyle change.

And the plan is for me to write every day. Not just this is what I did all weekend, look at some photos, but also the real, honest-to-goodness writing that I haven't made time for over the past six months or so. Also weekly recipes, What I Wore posts, and a YouTube channel that consists of more than just videos of me taking tequila shots.

Am I supposed to tell you this? For a while I felt like I wanted to just move and start posting more frequently and with better quality content, and you'd wake up one morning and think "Wow, this girl is cool!" But at the same time, I feel anxious every day about being self- (or, rather un-)unemployed, and I want you guys to know that I have bigger dreams than simply becoming a stay-at-home wife.

So yes, I want you to sponsor my blog if you're looking for a place to advertise. But more than that, I want to know what you think. I want to know if you think I'm trying too hard, or if I come off as insincere in some way. Because I may want to do this, but I don't want to be an idiot about it.

Thanks for hanging with me. This blog has helped me transition through so many things, and I'm hoping to lean on it even more from now on. I wouldn't be the person I am if it weren't for the people I have met by blogging--there are three girls in my wedding party who can attest to that.

This is a life that I couldn't imagine not having.

I went on a run yesterday; the kind where it's muggy and hot outside and you think about huge things while you lose your breath and sweat quickly covers your body. I told myself to run twenty minutes, and I started fast, and then thirty minutes passed, and I told myself to run some more.

It was hot and the sky looked like thunder and my legs felt like bricks and I just kept going. I didn't start out with grand thoughts about life, because I started out with basic thoughts about running, but the former evolved from the latter because that tends to be the way it works when you're running.

I started going to CrossFit last summer and I continued for about two months. During that time, I stopped running because most of the time I was too sore to run, and when I wasn't too sore to run I felt too strong to need to run. It was fine, and then I stopped going to CrossFit, but I kind of had already stopped running, so for a while I was just sort of lazy. When I finally started again, I never pushed myself to the caliber that I used to in my cross-country days, and certainly not to failure like I often did in CrossFit.

I got so comfortable that I forgot what the edges of my comfort zone felt like. But I like being in that space. I need it.

Here's to finding that line, and then walking on it.