This morning I woke up ready to get some work done.
I sat down at the computer and plugged in my camera's memory card reader--it's a normal thing and I do it often. But for some reason, nothing went right. I'm really not much of a computer person so it was just the most frustrating thing, to have this little cord that works every other day just up and abandon me. I bundled up and walked to the Target down the street for a new one (did you know that it was 20 degrees and snowy this morning in Minneapolis? Happy April!), only to come home to find that this one isn't working either. In unplugging and re-plugging and uninstalling and downloading the drivers, I found myself in tears. It's sad because in the grand scheme of things, this is So Not A Big Deal. But sometimes you just need to feel pathetic and cry into your almond butter and sliced bananas.
I constantly teeter between feeling really confident in my blogging/business and wondering if I'm wasting everyone's time or not. Like waking up and writing things for this blog is a silly way to spend a day.
When I do have a paying project to share, and things go wrong, I can't figure out if I'm upset because I failed in some way, or because deep down I wonder if anyone will even notice. When I am productive, I've written several blog posts or recipes and taken pictures and there are people out there who perform brain surgery. When I put it into that context, my job often feels more like a "job."
I love this blog, though, because it is such a connecting force in my life, and I get emails from wonderful people and become friends with you guys when I would have never known you in a different world where Twitter didn't exist. So I'll continue, even when I lose it over some photos I can't get off my camera and it makes me feel like the world's biggest narcissist.