We'll be in Charlotte for Christmas, which means we're simultaneously staying home for Christmas and not going home for Christmas. It's one of those confusing moments in life where I wonder if I'm really an adult or not. Rob has this whole week off of work and I woke up every morning this weekend and cuddled up to his warm body, excited for Monday because it meant hot coffee and slow mornings infused with the magic of a relaxing staycation.
I have an amazing husband and an apartment that feels like home and sweet in-laws who live thirty minutes down the road, but because I'm not packing a bag and heading to Roanoke, I have sometimes felt the need to encourage holiday spirit this year with extra Christmas music and string lights and at least two hot chocolates a week, which is sort of a lot for a person with a lactose intolerance.
The most ridiculous part is that we're going to Roanoke on the Saturday morning after Christmas--we're not missing it, exactly, but it still kind of feels like we're missing it. The Christmas festivals in downtown Roanoke will be done and high school friends will be packing up to go back to their homes away from home by the time we get into town.
Three days ago I fell asleep thinking about Minneapolis and woke up the next morning positively melancholy over it. I've seen my parents and my brother and my friends so much since we moved back to the East coast, but living far away absolutely had a romantic quality to it. It's complicated because constantly booking flights and missing people are two things I was thrilled to be saying goodbye to, but the coziness of winter in Minnesota coupled with daydreams of Going Home For The Holidays is already very sentimental for me. I go back and forth constantly.
My hope is to land somewhere beyond what comes across as ungratefulness or an irritating obsession with all things nostalgic and start being grateful for the blessings that are so very present in my life all the time. Because I have more good things in my life than I can even count. And I will be home for Christmas.
May your days be merry and bright.