We had some airline points that were going to expire, so late last year we looked at the map of Southwest Airlines hubs and picked something.

"What about Florida?"

When we made the reservation I didn't know that my mom would have to have two more surgeries--one scheduled and one unexpected--that week before. I knew I'd be in Salt Lake City for a conference, but had no idea how tired and overwhelmed I'd be, or that by that time, the thought of leaving Ender once again and getting on another plane to spend four more nights away from home would sound like more trouble than it was worth.

But on Saturday we flew to Ft. Lauderdale and rented a car, drove to Miami, and spent four nights in the guest room of a penthouse apartment downtown. The sun was shining and it was really warm that first evening, and as soon as I took off my sweater and stepped onto the sidewalk in a backless tank top, I knew I needed this vacation more than I had realized (or maybe even felt like I deserved). 

We walked around and ate ceviche and drank too many pisco sours (along with everything else in sight) and on Monday, we got back in the car for three and a half hours to make what ended up being a Hemingway pilgrimage to Key West.

Ernest Hemingway's house was even more beautiful and moving than I dreamed it would be, and back in Miami the next night, over bistec argentino and cafés cubanos I asked Rob, "Do you feel like he's with you now?" because I really felt him down there in Key West and that hasn't left me yet. I don't know if it will.

I put on dark and vampy red lipstick and wore a too-short dress with my highest heels to a party that we didn't even get to until 10:30 on our last night in town, and the city lights at 1AM twinkled across the bridge from South Beach back to our Airbnb downtown.

On Wednesday we woke up, packed our things, and had one more breakfast outside in the sunshine while we marveled at this, the best vacation we've had in a long time--the one that almost didn't even happen.

On Wednesday morning I took a cab from my cousin's house to Salt Lake City, dropped my bag off with the concierge at The Grand America, ordered a cup of coffee in the lobby, and sat down by the fireplace with a book. It was amazing.

It had been a really long time since I felt completely alone somewhere--my hotel roommates hadn't arrived yet, and I was super early to any conference happenings. So I just sat there, not knowing anyone, casually observing the people around me, sipping my coffee out of a fancy little cup, and reading page after page of Rainn Wilson's lovely new book (and wondering how one begins to convert to the Bahá'í faith).

After about a half hour, I checked into my room and ventured out to find the salon where I had booked a blowout with a soon-to-be new friend who was also going to Alt Summit. She was also getting makeup done so I was finished quite a bit before she was, and I used the extra time to get something to eat. Eating out alone is something I've spent an unusually large amount of time thinking about, because I don't do it. I love going out for coffee on my own, but I have to have a book or my laptop or at least be scrolling through my phone while I sip my latte. But a meal alone always feels kind of off-limits to me, so when it was lunch time in Salt Lake City and I was out and about on my own, I thought for sure I would get some takeout and bring it back to the salon while my new friend finished up her appointment.

I surprised myself by walking into a Japanese restaurant and sitting down at the bar (I guess graduating to a table of one's own requires baby steps). I ordered some miso soup and a couple of sushi rolls and had a really good time by myself. I checked my phone a few times, but for the most part I enjoyed my food, smiled at the chefs, and made small talk with the server whenever she came by to refill my water.

Alt Summit is a wonderful conference and I always enjoy going because I leave full of inspiration and with a few new friends (this time I met some women who made me laugh so hard I cried--our ongoing group text is probably the most valuable thing I brought home from Utah); but I realized as I sat by the fireplace with my coffee and again at the sushi bar that the thing I love most about this trip I take every January is that it forces me to travel on my own. I am either completely alone in my activities, or I'm pushed out of my comfort zone to spend time with strangers. 

I really love almost every single thing about my life, but the truth is that I haven't spent very much time alone. I lived with roommates in college, and after graduation I had my own apartment but hated it so much that I think I spent just as much time sleeping at my parents' house as I did at my place. And then Rob graduated from college and moved in with me. Building a home with him has been one of the most important and fulfilling parts of my life.

But there is something magical about being alone in a city you don't know very well. To have coffee in fancy hotels with real fireplaces. To order room service or get on the train in search of a restaurant you've never been to before. To drink too much wine and talk about work and life and cancer and childbirth and God with four women you didn't even know three days ago, and leave feeling like you've known them for ten years. 

Sure, it's a just a work trip with a little vacation mixed in. But we stretch and grow a little bit with every place we go. And then we go back home, where comfort reigns over luxury or adventure, and we remember what matters.

I touched down in Charlotte late last night and Rob picked me up with Ender in the car. We got home and I took off my makeup and jewelry, throwing my hair up into a loose bun and falling into my own bed at last--Rob's warm body next to mine and our pup curled up at our feet.

It's good to be back.

I'm catching an early flight to Utah this morning and will be in Salt Lake City for Alt Summit all week. This year I scheduled some extra time to hang out with my cousin and her family, so I'm really looking forward to that later today and then again on Sunday!

I have another blog post (maybe two) scheduled for the week, but you can definitely find me on Instagram, where I'll be posting several times a day. I'm already missing Rob and Ender, but I'm always so grateful for this time to recharge and get inspired for the year ahead.

Talk to you soon!