The smell of fresh coffee on a cold morning.
Making a huge pot of chili on a weekend afternoon, football on in the background.
Putting on that first sweater.
Listening to a new song in the car and realizing that it’ll remind you of the changing seasons every fall from now on.
New to me this year: planning a birthday party for my daughter.
I always thought "nesting" was kind of bullshit but now I know it's real--these past few days I've gotten more done than I have in weeks. Between writing, teaching, cooking, putting together furniture, cleaning, and folding itty bitty onesies, I've never felt more productive in work or at home, which is kind of beautiful because most of the time I feel like I'm failing at both.
Everything I've cooked lately has been enough for 10 people. Last weekend we had Rob's cousin and her boyfriend over for brunch after we got home from an early dog training session with Ender, and as I prepared stuff for a little BLT bar I also diced up what ended up being 5 pounds of potatoes for hash browns. I made them in batches and transferred them to the oven to stay warm--I figured whatever was left over could go in the freezer. Our house is mostly clean and the kitchen window is always open and as I made food that I knew I would defrost and eat at some random time in the future with a baby in my arms, I really couldn't help but feel anything but joy.
November has always been my favorite month--there are no birthdays or special occasions other than Thanksgiving but I love that it's the first month when you really can't deny fall anymore. The leaves have changed and the air is chilly and has that crisp scent that might be the smell of leaves or rain or maybe just anticipation, wrapped up in a sweater. I light candles and sweep the floor and fold clean laundry and really just savor the act of slowing down, of one-pot meals in the crock-pot, of long walks with the dog as we crunch through the leaves.
And now this November there will be a birthday, a baby, a whole new chapter of our lives. I'm looking forward to all of it, but happy to spend these next couple weeks assembling furniture in the nursery on a Friday night; wrapped up and cozy under the covers on a Sunday morning, lingering in the warmth of Rob's arms before I tip toe into the kitchen to make two lattes.
“In Lynchburg, Virginia, home of Liberty University and just an hour away from my own alma mater, there are always Paneras and Starbucks full of Baptists fresh from Bible Study...zipped snugly into their North Face jackets and so surely into their faith. The leaves have changed color and the air is crisp and chilly and smells like campfires in that grey morning fog and when I am home for Thanksgiving, I pass through on my way to the J.Crew Factory store and even now, I will feel just a little bit jealous of them.”
I wrote this short essay about fall and faith for The Equals Record three years ago and I just came across it again this weekend. I'm so thankful for blogging--it's strange and wonderful to have this little snapshot of me in Minneapolis, still thinking about the things I thought about in Charlotte and now California.
And I needed this reminder from my past self: I feel overwhelmed with the possibilities, and grateful that, even when it's hard, I didn't stay in one place forever.
Read the full piece here.