When we were first expecting our baby, I knew that there were going to be a few months of sleep deprivation. As a child I was a terrible sleeper, but as an adult I can fall asleep in like 2 minutes, and I usually don't wake up until morning. I always knew I needed a good 8 hours to feel normal so I went to bed early and woke up early and never really thought twice about it. 

I've always been a morning person and Rob has always been a night owl, so we decided to use our differences to our advantage and for a while it really did help--I'd go to bed early, Rob would feed Sophie a bottle later, then put her down and go to bed himself, and when she woke up I'd get up to feed her again. We were sleeping in 2-3 hour chunks for a while and we were tired, but it was working. There was no reason for us both to get up when she needed something, so for those first few weeks Rob would change diapers and I'd feed her and we'd sleep whenever we could. 

Obviously that newborn haze doesn't last forever, so I wanted to share our experience getting Sophie to sleep through the night and get on a nap schedule because for months I wasn't really sure how to start and it felt really overwhelming. If I could go back and do anything differently, I think I'd start a little earlier with some good sleep habits and hopefully be less nervous to try to get her to sleep well from the start.

I'm going to go at this list style below because I feel like these baby/parenting posts can get a little text heavy. I also enlisted the help of Becca of Little Z Sleep (thank you Colleen for the recommendation!), whose Instagram and podcast have been incredibly helpful! I haven't even hired her to work with us personally, but she's a wealth of information and she was nice enough to answer some questions I crowdsourced on Instagram stories a few months ago (keep reading for those at the end of this post). I was starting to feel really lost when it came to sleep and naps, and all the information she shares online helped me gain the confidence to just start trying things out and eventually getting into a schedule of our own. 

Here are a few notes about our experience:

• When Sophie was a newborn we had her in a few different swaddles: these were good for a while (and so cute!) but we ended up exclusively using these ones. Once she started showing signs that she was outgrowing the swaddles, we switched to using a Baby Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit about half of the time and this transition swaddle the other half. She really seemed to like having her arms out so both of them worked pretty well.
• I think I've mentioned before that after the first month or so, Sophie stopped sleeping in the crib. She was such a sleepy little newborn but after a few weeks she would get really fussy if we put her down, so we'd basically have to take turns holding her. Rob would hold her on the couch from like 9:00 PM-3:00 AM (with a bottle around midnight), then I'd get up and nurse her on and off until 6:00ish. We both watched so much TV during those few months and pretty much didn't sleep next to each other until Christmas when my brother and his girlfriend came to visit and watched Sophie while we took a nap.
• After a while the 9-3, 3-6 shift thing started getting really hard to keep up with physically and emotionally--sometimes one of us would come into the bedroom and basically say "I can't do this anymore can you please take her for a while?" In those moments I felt so incredibly lucky to have a partner like Rob who I could really lean on, and I always tried so hard to make sure he felt the same way about me.
• In January we started using a Rock N Play to let Sophie get used to sleeping somewhere other than on us (we'd put her down if she fell asleep and watch her--she never slept overnight in it).
  • We also got this bassinet with the newborn insert and she slept there a lot better than she did in her crib. We kept her in the bassinet until she was about 5 months old (she started rolling so she needed to transition out of the sleep suit and into the crib at the same time, which took a few nights). Now she sleeps in her crib (this one, still in our room) and wears one of these.
• After finding Becca, I finally realized I could put Sophie down and it'd be okay. I know that sounds so silly, but for some reason I used to be afraid to put her down for fear that she'd cry--I think in my sleep-deprived haze I figured a quiet sleeping baby in my arms was better than a fussy one in her crib, even if it meant that I wasn't sleeping. The first few days after we decided to start a bedtime routine and let her cry it out a tiny bit (we kind of do the Ferber method) were a little rough (I'll never forget the first night), but after two or three nights, she really got the hang of it. I made myself a pretty serious cocktail and we took turns going in to soothe her periodically until she finally fell asleep (spoiler alert: it took 2 full hours).
  • Now I put her right down and she almost always goes right to sleep! (It made me feel so much better the next morning when she woke up with a big smile on her face--sometimes I really do think it's harder for us than it is for them.) Our bedtime routine consists of a bath, bottle or nursing, books, and then down for the night. We usually start at 6:30.
• At this point, she goes to bed by 7:00 PM and usually sleeps until 5:00 AM. I change her diaper and nurse her in bed before putting her back in the crib and cross my fingers that she'll sleep for a few more hours. My goal right now is to get her to sleep until 7:30 or 8:00 AM, so that's what we've been trying to figure out lately! (I might just need to go to bed earlier. This morning she woke up at 6:00 which felt like a normal time to start the day.)
• During the day she usually takes 3 naps, one about an hour and a half after she wakes up, then another one 2 hours after she wakes from the first nap, and most of the time a final one two hours after she wakes up from the second nap. They range in time from 1 hour to 2, and one time she actually took a 3 hour nap! I used the chart in this article to figure out when her naps should be, and it made a lot more sense to me than trying to have a set schedule with naps at the same time every day. I like the idea of 2-3 hours of wake time between naps--it's a lot more flexible and I need that sometimes. Sometimes her last nap is only 30 minutes because I wake her up at 5:00 so she's ready for bed at 7:00.

And now, without further ado, here are the most frequent questions I got from you guys on Instagram when I was planning this post, answered by Becca of Little Z Sleep!

Do you have any tips for not nursing to sleep? I know I shouldn’t be doing it, but I’m scared to stop! 

The ultimate goal is for your child to use nursing for nourishment, not for sleep. To help, nurse in a well lit area and keep engaged by poking, tickling, and speaking to him. Be encouraged that once your child knows they don’t have to have food in order to sleep, they will become a better eater during the day. The connection between eating and sleep is the hardest habit to break. Be consistent and know that breaking this habit is not going to happen over night! The end goal is to have a better eater, and when we break this habit of nursing to sleep, your child will become a better and more efficient eater!

What’s a good way to get a toddler to stop sleeping with their pacifier? 

The goal is to encourage your child to use her self-soothing skills. Using a pacifier will take the place of any skill your child could develop independently. After 4 months of age I ask parents to pull the pacifier outright. While you may think this is easy for an outsider to come in and say “just throw it away”, please know that I understand YOU are the most nervous about this change, and not your little one. Read how one of my recent clients ditched the pacifier for her two toddlers.

My baby is not napping long enough! How do I get him to sleep longer during the day and also how long should a nap be, anyway? 

The very first thing you should always check is the darkness of the room. It must be 100% dark for naps and night sleep. Nap length completely depends on your child’s age! Check out my podcast on naps or download this free guide on nap expectations.

When do you recommend a baby start sleeping in their own room? I’ve read 6 months and 12 months, but a lot of people seem to do it sooner. Thoughts on that? 

This is a totally personal decision, and not one you should make on what other people do. The AAP has suggested 12 months, 6 months, or even 4 months could be appropriate. There really is no set research that proves a certain age is the ticket. When you are ready to make the change, go for it. With a newborn especially you should be very safety conscious and make sure your baby is only sleeping on firm flat surfaces. If sleeping in a swing or positioner [dock-a-tot, rock-n-play, etc] they must be closely monitored. Believe it or not, these are not meant for independent unsupervised sleep! In my newborn sleep course I walk through how to set up a nursery as well as safe sleep practices. I also explain how to get your baby to sleep independently. You can check out a free preview here. 

My baby is “old enough” to be sleeping through the night, but when she does wake up she always has a wet diaper and/or will nurse for 20-30 minutes. Am I really supposed to leave them in the crib if it seems like they usually need something? 

If your baby has consistently wet diapers, I suggest going up a size in nighttime diapers. If he has blowouts or is soaking into the sheets, definitely change them. A wet diaper is not a reason to wake him up to change. I always look into feeding as a habit or necessity. Nursing from 20-30 minutes at nighttime is actually a pretty substantial length. I’m willing to bet your baby sees nursing as snacking or a means to fall back asleep on. I want to note that as your baby understands food is for nourishment, not sleep, they will become more efficient and fill up well during the day. 

How do I get my baby to sleep in later? 

Depending on child’s age, 10-11 hours is great. But if we are speaking about a baby between 4 months and a child up to 3 years old, then I want more like 11-12 hours. You don’t want to push a child’s bedtime later as kids just don’t sleep in. In fact, I often ask my clients to put a child to bed 15 minutes sooner to see how that affects the morning wake time. You also want to make sure your child’s room is 100% dark with no sunlight entering at that sunrise hour. 

I hope something in this post has been helpful to you! If you're a parent, I'd love to hear your experience with your child's naps and sleep schedule--I'm kind of fascinated with it all. Thanks again to Becca of Little Z Sleep for taking the time to answer some reader questions!

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I've had a few requests to do a breastfeeding post, so here we are! I wasn't super sure what you guys wanted to know, so this is just a general overview of my experience so far.

Currently, I'm feeding Sophie from a bottle about half the time--she's just over 5 months now and very aware of her surroundings, which means she gets distracted really easily. She'll be latched on and eating really well, but Ender might flap his ears or Rob's phone will buzz and suddenly she's looking around to see what's going on. I used to watch Instagram Stories while feeding her but now I have to do it on mute or she'll want to watch, too. We started giving her a bottle of breastmilk pretty early--I think it was around 3 or 4 weeks (I've mentioned this in a previous post)--Rob would feed her at night so I could sleep for a few hours uninterrupted.

Pumping and bottle feeding takes a bit longer, but it's been kind of nice to see exactly how much milk she's getting. When you're just feeding from the breast it can be hard to guess. Basically what I do now is feed her first thing in the morning when it's still dark and quiet in our room, then pump during her first nap so I have a bottle ready to go. I always try to feed her from my breasts first and if she's too distracted we switch to a bottle, usually 6-8 ounces. After her last nap and right before bed she also gets a bottle, and then I pump again before I go to bed. Before I started giving her so many bottles I was pumping just 1-2 times a day, aiming to do it 3 times, but now that she gets at least two bottles a day I'm actually pumping 4 times, which feels like a lot. 

We also just started experimenting with solids, and by that I mean she ate like 1/16th of an avocado over two days. We're getting her a high chair soon and then we'll be able to get more into it--our pediatrician said we could start at 4 months but it seemed really soon so we're just trying it out very slowly until she's 6 months old. She wasn't super sure what to do with the avocado but once she got it in her mouth she was all about it. It was so fun.

Before I really start rambling too much I thought I'd hit you with a few bullet points instead:

What's Been Hard:

• I got mastitis in December and it sucked. I had a fever and my whole body ached and I kept getting chills followed by super intense sweats. I really thought I was getting the flu but then it'd just go away for a few hours and I'd feel okay again. I called my midwife and she got me in to see her and I took some antibiotics and felt better after a few days.
• For almost four months I couldn't get Sophie to latch without a nipple shield and man did it hurt. It was great being able to feed her and get her to latch easily with it, but the shield was not comfortable at all. I remember thinking there was something wrong with my left breast because I would literally be writhing in pain when she ate from that side. Once she was able to feed without the shield, the pain went away completely.
• I'm not sure if it was just my body trying to figure out how much milk I needed or clogged ducts or what, but when Sophie was 1-2 months old, there were some days where by 9PM it seemed like I just didn't have enough milk left. My boobs felt exhausted after nursing her all day and she was usually really fussy at night. After a while I think my supply caught up to her appetite, but it was rough for a while there--long hot showers seemed to help. Rob would take her and I'd give myself a half hour to relax and I was always able to feed her again after a little break.

What's Been Easy:

• I don't know if any of it is easy, but I guess I like breastfeeding because I can feed her whenever I need to no matter where we are. Pumping and having bottles was a game changer for us--one time we went to the mall and she was screaming when we got back to the car so we sat in the parking lot for like 25 minutes while I fed her and then we got stuck in traffic on the way home because it was way later than we had anticipated. Now if we're going out I throw a bottle in the diaper bag and I can feed her on the go. Makes life so much easier. 

Biggest Surprises: 

• My body makes milk! After my mom's breast cancer and my BRCA 2 gene mutation diagnosis, there was a part of me that wondered if I was going to be able to breastfeed at all.
• Breastfeeding makes you so incredibly hungry and thirsty.
• It can be weird and sometimes it's uncomfortable but I really enjoy it a lot--I guess I was prepared for the worst.
• Learning just how often you're topless when you're breastfeeding a baby, especially those first few weeks.

Breastfeeding Products I Love: 

• I've been taking these supplements (referral link--10% off for you!) for about a week and I really think they've made a difference. Honestly though I think I only got them because the packaging is really cute--I've been able to up my supply with extra pumping, more water, and plenty of snacks as well in the past.
• I absolutely LOVE this nursing top. It's so soft and so cute--I wear it all the time.
• I use these every single day--I pop them in the microwave together for 30 seconds and wear them over my pump flanges, especially at night.
• Sophie is big enough to not need a pillow for support, but it's still a lot easier to feed her using this guy.
• Nursing bras I love: this one for something pretty, this one for a little more support.

That's all for now! Let me know if you have more specific questions and I'll be happy to try to answer them. I'd also love to hear your experiences! This motherhood things feels a lot easier when we have chances to connect with each other and share our stories. As always, thanks for reading!

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We just got back from our first trip with Sophie and it was so great—we’ve done day trips to Sonoma and Santa Cruz before but this was our first time flying with her and her first time sleeping anywhere other than our house, so we were a little nervous to take the leap. I thought I'd share some thoughts here--although one trip with a baby makes me far from an expert, I thought we did a good job packing just the essentials and making things as easy as they possibly could be.

Overall it went really well and people were so nice, especially at the airport. I always worried that people would look at us like “oh no I hope that baby isn’t on my flight,” but I never do that myself so why would they? I always have to remind myself of that—if I’ve never had that thought before, why do I assume most people will? (I do this with my Pure Barre classes too--I used to be so nervous to make a mistake and then I thought okay have I ever been mad at an instructor for making a mistake when I'm working out?) No--generally people are nicer than that, and traveling with a baby is no different. One woman behind me in line even reached her hand out to help hold me up while I was wiggling out of my boots at security, and all the flight attendants on every flight were super excited to see Sophie and asked us to just let them know if we needed any help with anything.

Here are some thoughts I jotted down while we were traveling:

• I think I would have liked to have our DockATot for bed lounging and maybe even sleeping--I just wasn't sure how to pack it so I skipped it this time. The first night in Seattle she didn’t know what was going on and I ended up bringing her into bed with me, which I don’t feel super comfortable with. Luckily there was also a daybed so Rob slept there and we had the queen to ourselves.

• The travel crib we have was great but she wasn’t used to it so I’d maybe do a few test runs at home first. She definitely wasn't happy to be basically sleeping on the floor (the bassinet she sleeps in at home slides onto our bed, and I think she could tell the difference).

• We rented a studio apartment and will probably do one-bedrooms from now on because she didn’t sleep well the first night--there was too much light coming in through the windows and quite a bit of construction on the street. I think when we booked the flights we didn't have a bedtime routine yet so I didn't even think that she'd need a quiet, dark place to go to sleep. We ended up moving the crib to a walk-in closet which felt weird but she slept all night in there without waking up once. We have a white noise machine at home but used an app on our phones. She usually sleeps in a bassinet right beside me so I put the shirt I had worn all day on the floor next to the crib--I don't know if it worked but she didn't seem scared or upset so I think it might have helped.

• Naps were a struggle but she did sleep in the baby carrier so we were able to go out and do stuff. We didn’t bring a stroller and wearing her worked just fine. We will be using a travel stroller for our longer trip to Virginia and NC in May--I have my eye on this one. We brought the Boppy carrier and the Ergobaby carrier. I also packed a Solly baby wrap but we didn't end up using it.

• She's not quite ready for a high chair yet so we had to wear her or hold her at restaurants but I think by the time we go on our next trip she'll be sitting up better, which will make going out to eat a little easier.

• We did bed time baths in the tub with me—it was one less thing to pack and she loved splashing in the water. This is the tub we've been using (it's supposed to be great for travel) but she's pretty much outgrown it so I'm looking for something new.

• We definitely packed too many baby clothes for a weekend. I thought she'd spit up and need to change at least twice a day but I packed little baby bib bandanas like these and it saved her onesies. Bringing extra shirts for us was a win, though.

• We brought an 8-ounce bottle of milk on the plane and a little cooler with some frozen milk. You can bring milk and/or formula in a bottle through security (they just inspect it), and if it's frozen they don't even need to do anything with it. She drank the bottle at takeoff and then an hour later she got fussy so I nursed her and she fell asleep. We carried the Boppy pillow on and that was perfect for keeping her comfy while she was nursing/napping. I also packed my pump to use when we got there, so we were able to have bottles while we were out and about.

• Putting the car seat (we bought this one specifically for travel) in an Uber or Lyft was a little unnerving at first (not to mention letting a stranger drive) but we got the hang of it. We put it in a big carseat cover/bag and checked it when we got to the airport along with the travel crib.

• We stayed downtown so we could walk most places--Pike Place Market, to a bunch of coffee shops and restaurants, even to Capitol Hill for brunch one morning. We did want to go to a few other places that weren't walkable from our apartment so we used Zipcar (fsslolif is Rob's referral code if you want $25 off), which was really easy. It got a little more expensive than we anticipated because we kept having to add time on but I think it was worth it to not take the car seat in and out and also lug it around a brewery and pretty tiny restaurant for dinner later, especially in the rain. Our VA/NC trip is 10 days and not in huge cities so we'll be renting a car, which will be nice with the car seat.

Overall the trip went really smoothly and I'm so glad we did a test run for just a few days. I was so proud of Sophie for going with the flow and I'm really happy we got to see some family and friends and eat some great food while we were there.

I'll include my packing list below--I think it's the first time I didn't forget anything and really the DockATot was the only thing I might have brought if I could go back and do it again, although for only one night I don't think it would have been worth it since she slept great in her crib the next two days (and she's never slept in the DockATot overnight anyway).

Carry On (one diaper bag, one backpack, one tote bag for bottles/pump stuff):

• Diapers

• Wipes

• Pacifiers

• Extra set of clothes for baby and adults

• Burp cloths (2)

• Boppy baby carrier

• Nursing pillow

• Baby blanket (we definitely used this on the plane)

• Bottle of breastmilk

• 2-3 bags of frozen breastmilk

• Baby's birth certificate

Checked luggage (one suitcase, one travel crib, one car seat):

• Car seat and cover

• Ergo baby carrier

• Solly baby wrap (ended up not using)

• Travel crib

• Clothes for us and clothes for baby

• Sleep suit (we love this thing and have a very gently-used 6-9M one if anyone's interested in it you can send me an email!)

• Umbrellas (2)

• Baby bath and soap (didn't bring bath but would do it if she were smaller)

• Breast pump and storage bags

• 1 extra baby bottle (2 in total)

One final note: I felt weird going to restaurants after 5PM with Sophie--first of all when we're home we start our bedtime routine pretty close to 6PM, so going out to dinner isn't really our thing at this point. We got takeout one night and did an early dinner another, but on Saturday we really wanted to go to Delancey and it was packed so we didn't get seated until 5:45ish. We ordered right away and just went with it--she got fussy so we took her out of the carrier and she was happy to look around at people and have us talk to her. We often get stressed out about what might happen if she cries but again, people don't really care! And it's so simple but Rob and I always tell each other now that if she has a meltdown one of us will take her outside and the other will get the food to go. It's really as easy as that--just wanted to share because I know it can be scary taking your kid somewhere for fear that they'll make a scene. Most of the time she's just fine but it's nice to have a backup plan in place, no matter how simple.

That's all from me! Let me know your travel tips and if I missed anything or if you have any questions! I scoured the internet for baby travel stuff before we left so I'm hoping this post will be helpful to someone.

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