It was beautiful this weekend. Stubborn leaves finally changed color, and long walks were taken outside around Normandale Lake. It was sunny every day, Rob picked out his wedding ring, and we had a great lunch at one of our favorite places. We folded laundry on Saturday night and then went out to a concert at ten followed by omelets at midnight.

On Sunday morning we slept in and addressed the last of our save-the-dates. We talked about our rehearsal dinner menu and I made Paleo crepes for brunch. It was cozy and uneventful enough to be one of those weekends where you feel comfortable and settled in.

We've mostly established a routine here, but sometimes it still doesn't actually feel real. I said, "Sometimes I forget that we live here" as we talked about ice skating sometime this winter, which is rapidly approaching. It's been unusual spending autumn away from Virginia this year. This season I love so much feels different here. I'm grateful for it all the same.

  

I don't remember when November became my favorite month--it must have been one of my undergrad days at Longwood. When you start something in August (be it school or moving to a new city), it takes until about now for you to really hit your stride, I think. The days get a little shorter, but your home feels a lot cozier, and the weather starts doing that thing where you almost feel like it's winter, but are still enjoying fall.

I guess being someone who feels so ambivalent about transitions, it only makes sense that this time of year is my favorite. I may not always care for uncertainty and change, but I do like dreary skies, morning fog, and chilly afternoons.

November begins the year's homestretch--we have two more months to make 2013 everything we wanted it to be. And if we just want to bake and drink tea and read instead, then that's just fine, too.

Happy November, friends, and happy weekend.

Last year's little ode to November.

There are days where I get a lot done. I feel good about my decision to be self-employed during this time in my life. I write. I read. I cook and take photos. I clean and do laundry. I work with Cave Girl clients. I write some more. There is time to go to the gym and there is time to think about dinner and there is time to talk to my friends, online and now on the phone, something I barely found time for before this. I hang out with new friends and I do yoga headstands in my living room. I love my blog and the apartment is organized and I'm just so happy.

And there are days where I don't get a lot done. I feel panic about life and my decision to be unemployed during this time. I randomly apply for jobs. I don't write. I wonder where more Cave Girl clients can be found. I think about essays I want to get on paper and then practically watch them float right out of my head and to wherever it is that good ideas go to die. I spend a lot of time watching a capella groups on YouTube. I leave laundry in the dryer for a week. I don't plan dinner. I decide not to go to the gym and then beat myself up over all the time I have and how little I am doing with it. I feel like Rob and I are alone in this city and I hate my blog and there's crap all over the floor and I just feel so anxious.

I think the biggest struggle so far has definitely been in learning to be kinder to myself. In learning to accept this season as the huge blessing that it is. In trying to be successful, whatever that might mean; and trying not to feel like a failure, whatever that might mean. To feel lucky and blessed, but to do it without guilt.

Rob has been so wonderfully supportive. When I panic and apply for fifteen random jobs I find on Craigslist (this happens more often than I'd like to admit), he tells me that if I want to get a job while we're here, I should get one, but to remember that it might get in the way of my goals to do other things this year. And it's true. With the uncertainty of how long we'll be here and where we'll go next (not to mention the two weeks I'm planning to spend in Virginia for Thanksgiving, closely followed by ten days for Christmas), it's hard to be taken seriously in an interview.

I managed to get in touch with a staffing agency who is starting to throw part-time gigs my way, which will give me a reason to dress up and get out of the house while simultaneously making a little money. Offices need receptionists and copywriters, and I have pretty free afternoons most of the time. My blog has been paying my student loans since August, which was a huge goal I made before I moved and actually sometimes can't believe I'm meeting, but it will feel good to contribute something more to our household income.

Moving to Minnesota felt like it would be the end of a huge transition, but I'm starting to accept the fact that life is just a series of changes. One day I might wake up and feel like my feet are finally firmly planted where they're supposed to be, but I know it won't be tomorrow, and I think that's okay.

Photo credit: V.A. Photography